5 Comments

Best of luck with the new podcast! Great first episode 👍

Expand full comment

Check out this twitter thread related to the comment I left: extended families in a patriarchal household are NOT safe for children.

https://grahamlinehan.substack.com/p/a-safeguarding-story

Expand full comment

HI, Sarah! I'm really enjoying your new podcast.

One thing I took a small issue with in your last episode was the idea that children are safer in patriarchal families than in matriarchal families.

As a survivor of father-daughter incest, I wish that were true. My biological father started sexually abusing me when I was four and continued until I was 12.

If you read Judith Herman's groundbreaking book on Father Daughter incest, you will see that in patriarchal families, children are FAR more likely to be sexually abused by male adults - including blood relatives.

Patriarchal Pakistan is a ghastly place for women and girls, as I'm sure you already know.

Most patriarchal societies are extremely dangerous for children, because when mothers have no power they cannot (and in my case, will not) protect their children.

In patriarchal societies, a woman's primary loyalty is to her husband, NOT to her helpless babies.

A mother who has no allies in a family system does not have the power to protect herself or her children, so will too often look the other way when her children are abused. What choice does she have?

No child is safe unless he or she has a strong mother. Full Stop.

Mothers who have no allies and who prioritize men's needs over their own are too broken down to be real mothers. Their instinct to protect their children is annihilated under such circumstances.

Therefore, at the very least, in a matriarchal household women would have the allies necessary to stand up to abusive men and protect their children.

There is nothing "wise" about believing that disempowering women makes children safer.

A disempowered mother is no mother at all.

Our primary responsibility to our children is to keep them safe from harm, and patriarchal societies cripple mothers in this regard.

Anyway, great podcast!

Thank You!

Expand full comment

Definitely love to join you in hell!

Expand full comment